One of the most painful things that anyone will experience is the end of a relationship – but in some cases, it may be the only way to live a happy, fulfilling life. This is especially true for anyone dating a narcissist. Your relationship may seem rosy at times, but the way a narcissist can chip away at your self-esteem is so unhealthy that it’s worth the temporary pain of a breakup.
It isn’t breaking up that’s the problem – it’s staying away. Narcissists can be charming, and they hate not getting attention from people. So what do you do to make sure you have enough distance between yourself and their bad influence? Here are my tips to strengthen your resolve, and hopefully teach you that you deserve better!
Avoid all contact – block them if you have to!
Social media, cellphone, emails…whatever can be a means of contacting you needs to be walled up! Trust that the narcissist will eventually try to contact you and win you back. Don’t even allow them to convince you.
Even your common friends may have to go. Drastic? Maybe. But narcissists are drastic and dramatic people, and you can’t tell how far they’ll go to get what they want.
Don’t allow them to contact you. Block their numbers, block them on social media, even keep your distance in person. They will try their hardest to find a way to talk to you and persuade you to be their friend again – just stay strong and remember that those are just words!
Allow Yourself the Space to Grieve
This is the time to reflect on their true nature. The initial, loved-up haze you had in the relationship will finally have time to fade, and you will see all the times that you were belittled or treated horribly.
While they probably pursued you with everything they had and made you feel special, they weren’t there for the things that truly counted. You’re allowed to be sad about realizing these things. Give yourself the space to absorb that shock. Never forget these truths, and hold on to them in moments of doubt!
Surround Yourself with Positive Influences
It can be lonely to be apart from narcissists who have been a strong influence in our lives. Take this as an opportunity to reconnect with old friends or find more group activities. Your social life doesn’t end just because you cut off one person! Consider this a fresh start – you’ll be able to form connections that you may have been isolated from by selfish narcissists.
I know I said you need space to grieve, but you also need to balance it out by keeping yourself preoccupied. It can be dangerous to wallow in your emotions for too long, and it might make you vulnerable to their attempts to win you back. Try a new hobby, or go on a trip to your dream destination.
Focus on the things that make you happy, and remind yourself that you may not have gotten the chance to do this if you stayed.
Start Some New Hobbies
A key part of moving on from any kind of toxic relationship with narcissistic friends or family? Trying new things. This is your chance to do the things they would have ridiculed, and to focus on your enjoyment and benefit this time. Go traveling, learn a new language, or try cooking some new dishes! You’ll be surprised at how quickly the time will fly when you’re occupied with other matters.
Don’t Forget the Disrespect
The longer you’ve been friends or in a relationship with a narcissist, the harder it can be to cut them off. However, this also means that there have been many chances for them to put you down or destroy your self-esteem. Remember that there were reasons why the relationship was destructive. While you’re allowed to think about the good times, those don’t erase the damage done to your peace of mind.
Build A Support System
During a relationship with a narcissist, it’s pretty common for them to make you cut your ties with other people. This is a tactic to make sure you’re isolated and dependent on them. Reconnect with your loved ones, and learn to build new friendships. When you’re at your lowest, it’s your friends and family who can help lift your spirits and keep you strong.
Talk to them, and don’t be afraid to be honest and vulnerable. The more they know about the emotional manipulation you endured, the better they can help you.
When we fall in love, we make ourselves open to the possibility of being hurt. That doesn’t mean we have to stay with someone who will hurt us again and again, without any regard for our feelings. When you feel low, I hope you remember these things and have the courage to love yourself again. It may be hard now, but it gets better with time and distance – I promise!
Don’t Blame Yourself for What Happened
Narcissists will do whatever they want to whoever they want. It has nothing to do with you being “timid” or “not asserting yourself enough”. Stop taking on responsibility for their behavior. Acknowledge that the narcissist you cut off made it difficult for you to trust your thoughts, actions – even your judgment! This is a very healing thing to do for yourself and will help you move on faster.
Get Professional Help
Dealing with a narcissist can take a serious toll on your mental health. Consider seeking the help of a therapist or counselor. They can provide you with the tools and resources you need to heal and move on. They can also offer a safe and non-judgmental space to talk about your experiences and work through your emotions. Don’t be afraid to reach out for help when you need it.
It’s important to set boundaries with a narcissist, even if the relationship is over. This means making it clear that you are not available for communication or contact, and that you expect them to respect your wishes. It may be difficult for them to understand or accept your boundaries. However, it’s important to stand firm and protect yourself. Setting boundaries can help you feel more in control and give you the space you need to heal and move on.
Ending a relationship with a narcissist can be difficult and emotional. Stay strong and remember why you made the decision to end things. Remember that you deserve happiness and a healthy, loving relationship. Don’t let a narcissist convince you otherwise. Keep reminding yourself that you are worthy and deserving of love and respect. Focus on taking care of yourself and your own needs.
Healing from a toxic relationship takes time. Be patient with yourself as you work through your emotions and move on. Take things one day at a time and allow yourself the space and time you need to heal. It’s also important to remember that it’s okay to reach out for help and support when you need it.
Building a strong support system can be incredibly helpful. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. Don’t be too hard on yourself if you don’t feel like you’re moving on as quickly as you’d like. Healing is a journey, and it’s important to be kind to yourself and to allow yourself the time and space you need to heal and grow.
Narcissists can take a toll on the way we see ourselves and the world. Fortunately, we can still find ways to walk away and stop their terrible behavior from affecting us. By completely ignoring narcissists and relieving ourselves of the doubt they caused, we can begin a new chapter. Don’t be taken in by flattery or pleas for forgiveness – these people will need a lot of psychological help, and your forgiveness will not change who they are. Stay strong!