In a world where we’re constantly told to be humble, we can often take this advice too far and develop very low self-esteem. Many of us can feel unworthy of love and respect, and this leads us to feel more stressed and anxious even when nothing is triggering us.
How do you let go of that negative energy, and see that you deserve better? Here are six tips for being kind to yourself – this will restore your confidence, and show other people that you should be respected!
Make a list of your accomplishments
No shame in a little horn-tooting! Learn to celebrate the great things you’ve done by listing your accomplishments. Maybe you learned how to speak a new language, or finished reading a book. Whether they’re big or small victories, doing this shows you that you are capable of great things.
Remember to practice some self-care
Self-care is two-fold: it should cover your basic needs, and it should reward you for hard work. Make sure you eat well, get proper sleep, and have time in the day to do things you like.
Some people like to pamper with a DIY spa night, others spend a few hours lounging around to read a book they love.
Give yourself a break to rest and recharge
When you’re tired and you keep pushing yourself anyway, you won’t be capable of doing your best. You’re also signaling to yourself that your well-being doesn’t matter as much as finishing something right away.
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Put yourself first, and take some time to get your energy back up. Whether it’s a 15-minute power nap or a weekend off, it will make a massive difference in the way you value your physical and mental health.
Learn to say NO to other people
One of the biggest barriers to self-love is always committing to doing things for people, even when we clearly can’t handle it. This is a common problem for everyone – after all, we always want to please others! But how can you please others if by stretching yourself thin, you can’t even please yourself?
Set healthy boundaries for yourself and start saying no to people. Remind yourself that this is reasonable and that you need to protect your own time and well being.
Start forgiving yourself
We tend to beat ourselves up for the smallest mistakes. Worse still, we tend to dwell on those mistakes even when they’re long done, and probably long forgotten by other people. Just let it go, tell yourself you’ll do better next time, and move on to the next thing you need to do.
It can be tempting to keep beating yourself up mentally, but it’s incredibly damaging to your self-esteem – and it subconsciously tells you that you don’t deserve respect.
Do fun things by yourself!
Be your own best friend! Learn to relish your solitude and enjoy your own company by picking enjoyable things you can do alone. Have a movie night, or travel to your dream destination solo. Eat your favorite dinner alone, or try a new hobby! By reinforcing the idea that you need time to yourself – and that you like being alone once in a while – you start valuing the way people treat you and how you spend your time with them.
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If you can’t see how amazing you are, how will other people do that too? Embrace your flaws and your messiness, and treat yourself as you would a cherished old friend. As you keep doing these six things and open your heart to yourself, other people will see the change in you and treat you better!