A lot of us suffer from low self-esteem. When we have low self-esteem, we don’t feel confident or worthy of good things, making it difficult to enjoy our days or look at ourselves positively. If you feel that you may have this problem, here are five signs that will tell you for sure – and five ways you can fix it so you can learn to trust and love yourself!
Stop comparing and focus on your positive qualities
Low self-esteem sometimes stems from comparison. It’s hard when you see posts of people achieving things you want to do. Accept that everyone is different – learn to appreciate your strengths instead of focusing on what you want to wish away.
Maybe you have a great smile or a friendly warmth that puts everyone at ease. Those things are treasures to have, so stop punishing yourself to fit unrealistic standards and practice a little self-love.
If you pick on yourself a lot, let go and forgive yourself
One of the biggest signs of bad self-esteem levels is the tendency to blame yourself and claim that everything is your fault. If you notice yourself doing this a lot, start acknowledging your mistakes and forgiving yourself for them.
You’ll soon realize that it’s more important to focus on improving yourself, instead of causing more pain. As you let go of the habit of self-blame, you will start feeling more competent and confident!
Perfectionism is hounding you – fix this by setting realistic goals
People with low self-esteem really struggle with failure and getting things “just right”. Because of this, you may sometimes feel like nothing you do will ever be good enough.
Regain your confidence by setting manageable expectations for yourself, instead of reaching for impossible standards and blaming yourself for not getting there. As you start to do better with these goals, you will regain confidence and have more trust in your abilities. Start with improving simple things that define who you are.
If you’re overly sensitive to criticism, listen, improve, and move on
Another problem with low self-esteem is that it can make you defensive even when someone is giving you helpful feedback on what to improve. Learn to recognize when people are making constructive comments, and that it’s not a reflection on you – it’s just a guide for how you can change the way you work.
However, if you feel that the criticism is unfair, it’s perfectly fine to stand up for yourself and disagree with who’s saying it. Reflect on the criticism before making a snap judgment about it, take what you can to let it improve your work or yourself, and move forward. Dwelling on it won’t help you.
For those who are people pleasers, learn to say no
Low self-esteem often makes you want to bend over backward just to prove yourself. However, this can lead to over-committing, leaving very little time for yourself. Start saying ‘no’ to inconvenient requests or things you don’t want to do and acknowledge that it’s reasonable to have boundaries! You’ll learn to value your time and realize that your self-worth doesn’t depend on their approval.
Low self-esteem is a hard lens to shatter, but these five simple strategies will help you change the way you see yourself, and gradually wear away at your self-doubt. With a little practice – and a lot of patience for your growth – you will surely go a long way and develop healthy self-confidence! Go forth and conquer your obstacles!